I feel alone,
standing in the middle of nowhere.
I've lost everything.
But my true friends are here,
To guide me along
And lend a helping ear.
I felt i lost her.
I need her
To comfort me.
But she can't,
Not this moment.
Not today,
Not tomorrow.
How i wish i could clear the air,
But,
I lack of courage.
I don't know how to approach,
What to say.
I am dragging each day by each day.
Time flies.
Time goes past me.
It's too fast.
I can't seem to catch up.
I asked my friends,
What i did wrong.
They said nothing.
But,
I said
Say the truth for i won't blame them.
Their respond was the same.
Then i started scolding myself,
Pushing her(u dun hav to know who she is)away
For i fear i am scared of being accused of stealing a friend,
And landing her into trouble.
But,
Friends are friends.
Why is there a need to seperate friends?
Your friend's world doesn't revolve only around you.
Her world is hers.
Yours is yours.
Don't interfere,
Just be friends.
You can't order and control her,
She is not robot.
I am like a wandering soul,
Don't know where to go.
I still don't know if i am wrong.
Is it all my fault?
Or is it not?
Is it a misunderstanding?
Or the truth that i am a bad friend?
I feel that,
Her world has only her.
When i try to step inside,
It became a disaster.
I became a sinner,
A loser,
An asshole.
A earthquake who seemed one that will seperate you and her.
A tsunami which will snatch her away.
A tornado which will 'attract' her to my side.
But,
I am not.
Sometimes,
I feel that i am a venting machine
A punching bag.
Sometimes you would hear me say
I like this
I want that.
But,
Do you think i would spend my money on cute but useless things?
If you think so,
You do not know me enough.
Sometimes i mean what i say
Sometimes not.
My friends,
Tell me when it's going to be your birthday,
And i'll gather quite a lot of people to chip in money.
Don't be alarmed when you hear me say that,
Cos' most likely i have planned to buy you a quite expensive present.
If you think i do that to save a lot of money,
You are wrong.
Or do you think i would buy you a night market present?
I won't.
Why would i do that?
If i did that,
The other person would do that to me too.
So,
Why bother in the first place.
My tears are going to drop anytime,
As i write.
People,
I wanna ask you:
Do you think the money matters
or the thought that matters when your friends give you presents?
I sigh.
I don't know what to do.
Still,
I want you all to tell me :
Am i a mean person?
Tell me truthfully.
I'll change.
-The Emo-ist wrote.